Do you feel that something is holding you back from achieving your dreams?
Here are 4 possible reasons why this might be happening to you:
1. Lack of Will – absence of a strong and resourceful will, a “why”.
Let me give you an example:
Imagine a metal board 15 meters long on the floor and
I will give you 100 reals to cross from one side to the other.
Would you? Yes.
Now I put the same board on top of two 10-story buildings.
Would you cross over? No.
Why? It’s dangerous height, you can fall. You are focused on the obstacles.
Now if I tell you that on the other side is your 2-year-old son and the building is on fire. The flames are getting closer to him and if you don’t cross over he will die.
Now would you? Of course.
Why? It is the same height, the same danger. The first time you answered no way.
The second time you would definitely go, regardless of the money.
The difference is the WHY.
The reason why you would. The reason why to do it was different.
If your “why” is not strong enough and motivating enough, any obstacle will stop you. You have to find your “why” in everything you want to accomplish! You didn’t even see the obstacles.
If it is only for the money, to become rich, to be famous, that is not enough. If your why is strong enough and motivating enough, bigger than you, then you will overcome any challenge.
Define your why and you will have the willpower!
2. Fears – fear of responsibility, of losing individuality, of powerlessness, of being a victim, of power, misuse of power, messing up your life, of loneliness, feeling inadequate, being rejected, being on the wrong track, etc. Even fear of success!
Fear is often not even real. It is just a thought that our ego creates to protect us from potential danger. We are trained and programmed with repetition to ask poorly crafted questions. We often say: What if it doesn’t work out? I won’t move to a new job, because it might be worse.
But we may ask ourselves: What if it works? What if I change jobs and it is better? The mind will seek answers based on the questions we ask.
I don’t believe in analyzing the whys of problem areas of the mind. It is often impossible to find out what the actual causes of negative patterns are, and even if you did, knowing about them could not necessarily change them.
Example:
If today I am afraid of the dark. Discovering that I was locked in a dark closet as a child would not change the fact that I am still afraid of the dark. I believe that if something is bothering you, just start from where you are and take the necessary steps to change it.
Start by asking yourself better questions:
What greater meaning can I take from this situation?
What is the empowering lesson that I can learn here?
Here is a saying from Marianne Williamson that I like:
Our greatest fear is not that we are incapable.
Our greatest fear is to discover that we are much more powerful than we think.
It is our light, and not our darkness, that frightens us most.
We ask ourselves: who am I, who thinks I am so insignificant, to accept the challenge of being brilliant, seductive, talented, fabulous?
In fact, why not?
Trying to be mediocre will do nothing to help the world, or our children.
There is no merit in diminishing our talents, just so that others don’t feel insecure around us.
We were born to manifest the glory of God – which is in everyone, and not just in a chosen few. When we try to show this glory, we unconsciously give permission for our friends to also manifest it.
The freer we are, the freer we make those around us.
Marianne Williamson
3. Excuses ( Justifications, “yes, but”) convincing yourself not to do something. One way or another, when you analyze a situation, you diminish your experience.
Examples:
a. You think, “It’s risky”: it’s a tendency to choose the safer path, these excuses are mental barriers that give you a way out. When it comes time to try something new, unknown, or perhaps something that puts you on the path to being stronger and more independent – you make up an excuse and avoid the risk.
b. It will be difficult
c. It will take time
d. I don’t deserve
e. It is very expensive
f. Put your excuse here…………
We are born with an ego. His purpose was to protect us from potential dangers. A survival system to preserve this physical body.
In ancient times, when a jaguar came, it would warn us of the danger and we could run or fight. Only, as time went by, it protected us from all risks, physical and emotional, more and more.
Once you have been hurt by someone, after that event your negative ego gives you a warning when it interprets that a similar situation or person could possibly be a danger. But, once you’ve been hurt, it doesn’t mean you always will be. So we end up protecting ourselves from all situations, from our life, protecting ourselves from possible opportunities…
Stay alert so that he does not sabotage your successes.
We are not here to survive, but to live!
4. Distractions – from external or internal sources.
The only way to deal with them is to get in touch with your purpose and ask yourself what your priorities are. Reduce the distractions in your life.
Distractions have not led you to a life of meaning. They don’t bring you what you are looking for.
We need to live a more meaningful life than “I’m working until the weekend comes or to take a vacation once a year, then I’ll enjoy it” or “I’m surviving”.
It is no surprise that many use drugs, alcohol, and television to distract themselves from the pain. And even then it is not enough to be distracted and fulfilled. Because distraction will not bring joy. It will not bring you what you are looking for. Drugs and alcohol will not change your life for the better, but for the worse.
They hurt you and bring pain. Anything that doesn’t expand you and allow you to share more love and joy with others in a natural way that enriches your mind, body, emotions and spirit is probably something you don’t need.
The human being needs to grow in order to feel alive. You are here for a purpose, there are no mistakes. We are here to “make mistakes”, or learn. Not doing everything “right”. We have to eliminate distractions.
a. Take a look around you. How many distractions are there around you? Is everything organized for you to be productive and achieve your goals? Or is it full of traps demanding your attention?
b. How many hours a day are you on Facebook or watching TV? Imagine only 30 min per day x 30 days= 15 hours of distractions or 2 full days of work.
c. Do you have any relationships that are not meaningful to you and only suck your energy? Relationships that you don’t want to invest in, nurture, and get deeper into. Evaluate and see if you need to redefine the amount of time you spend with them.
d. Try to reduce the time you watch TV or surf the Internet for no reason. One hour a day is 30 hours a month. That’s almost 4 full days in the month that you could hang out with the kids, your partner, friends, family, go to the theater, explore your city, trails…There is so much more that adds value and meaning to your life than distractions.
Of course we need to distract ourselves from time to time, just be conscious, and make the necessary adjustment. It is in your hands!
To understand more about your negative ego I recommend the following courses: